Time is shortening. But every day that I challenge this cancer and survive is a victory for me.Ingrid Bergman
I have now had my five radiation treatments since that unexpected day four weeks ago at Northumberland Hills Hospital where the discovery of the cancer cells in my neck brought me literally to a neck brace and bed. I survived the treatment with minimal side effects a couple of weeks of very raw sore throat, a few lesions in my mouth and a few sore teeth and tired. But, following the maintenance protocols, eating and getting rest when needed has certainly helped. The hardest adjustment has been not being able to drive and having to rely on others to get me to appointments or shop. But, I do not complain because I am so fortunate to have the support of my family and friends that have driven these past few weeks. I just pretend I’m Miss Daisy, in “Driving Miss Daisy” one of my favourite movies.
Driving Miss Daisy
One of my drivers has been my daughter she’s home for her graduation and reading week. It gave us a wonderful opportunity to spend real quality time and I know I drove her crazy about her driving, but the truth is she is just like her mom and likes to drive fast and is a good driver and will become a very good driver with time. During our drives, she was able to acknowledge and thank me for all the driving over the years, taking her to music, friends, and school. I loved it.
Now I get ready for the next stage of this fight which is the chemotherapy. As I’ve mentioned previously having received chemotherapy over 35 years ago, I still have very strong negative feelings about this treatment. Back then all I had to do was walk into the hospital smell alcohol and I would start to throw up. They were shooting massive doses of chemo directly into my veins without the refined knowledge of the science behind chemo that they do today. So, I must admit my mental health strength is going to be tested over the next few months but I am ready. As with every other health fight this past six years I am my own miracle and against all odds I am a survivor. So, I’m putting on my amour and preparing to do battle and will go forth with love, support and strength of all those around me and kick some serious cancer butt.
You can be a victim of cancer, or a survivor of cancer. It’s a mindset. Dave Pelzer
“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” Anatole France
Audrey and Spike
Most people have soft spots for our furry friends just view YouTube animals and see the volume of views on anything to do with animal antics and care stories. I’m no different, I have always had a dog in my life from childhood and in the later years I have grown to love cats as well. Today, I have the pleasure and honour of being watched over by three furry angels and a guest furry angel. I am calling them angels because at this time in my life they are giving me such peace and love, it’s as if they can sense the physical wrongness that is in my body and they all of them hover and try to cover me with their little bodies 24/7 drawing out the bad. Where I walk they will follow, never leaving me alone in the house. If I need to sleep for a few hours, they curl up alongside and stay there until I wake. They are my constant companions always there to give me their loyalty, unconditional love, and a hug and lick when I need it. So, I would like to introduce them to you…
Spike, who happens to belong to my sister, came into her life last November. He is part pug, part jack Russell. He is smart, with a most intelligent face. In the beginning I wasn’t sure about him as he was an older dog rescued from termination. So, I did not know his history. I could only get a sense that maybe he had been abused because he was somewhat shy and non-approachable initially. It took him a few weeks to get to know me and realize that I was always coming home. He certainly suffered from separation anxiety. Once I understood this, I started to make a very big deal about when I was leaving and when I was returning home with him. Lots of touching and kind words and soon he was my most faithful companion hanging with me every day waiting patiently whenever I had to leave him and so happy when I returned. I have grown to love this little guy and he in turn has rewarded me with his love and angel protection. His favourite pastime is sitting in stealth mode for Khimo… who he chases around the house playing hide and seek.
Starlin and Khimo
Khimo, is the baby a beautiful black with two white spot tabby who my daughter and I purchased in 2007 to help with the loneliness of my older cat Starlin. We picked Khimo because the pet shop had a posting of him over his cage and there was a memo which stated that black cats where the hardest to adopt because of their colour, silly superstition and that they were the most frequently abused and terminated based on their colour. My daughter and I, could not let that happened to him. Khimo was born and raised in the shelter and had never be out of a cage until we brought him home. That first couple of days and nights were for him so traumatic because for the first time in his life he was able to go beyond the bars and investigate his new world and the folks in it. Once he became comfortable, I became is human mommy, he would curl up under my chin and sleep like that until I moved him. Even as lean and long as he is today, he still thinks he can get under my chin. He is a head butter always looking for me to acknowledge his presence with a good butt to my chin and he refuses to be ignored. Especially since becoming ill, he is even more so wanting to be in my space, needing to curl up while I’m watching TV, or in my office, he definitely sleeps with me now and generally finds that he has to have some form of physical contact. In the evening he and Spike will sit on each side of me as if protecting me from the bad influences in the air. Together, they have a companionable rivalry going on and will go off and chase and hide in there imaginary game which I seem to always be the center. I literally, cannot move without one or the other seeing where I’m going and Spike always at my heel.
Starlin, my old girl has been with us since 2001. She is a beautiful taupe tabby and she is the animal that has traveled the farthest and struggled through the wreckage of my personal separation. Through the breakup, Starlin lost her long-time dog friend and companion Truman and her freedom as we moved from a house where she had been allowed to roam to an apartment where she was confined to three rooms. I became very concerned for her as I could see her spiraling downhill and becoming depressed. She was home alone for most of the day while my daughter went to school and I to work. So, within a few weeks I knew that I had to do something or lose her. So, we introduced Khimo to the family and it worked within a very few short days, Starlin kicked into mommy cat mode and she and Khimo became each other’s lifeline and together they became mine. Starlin, loves where we are now because again she is allowed her freedom and can roam in the beautiful forest trees of Northumberland Hills and bask in the sunshine. She is the master of our household the grand dame so to speak. All other furry residences and furry visitors know that she sets the rules. When she walks into the room, they all watch and listen.
For my cats, they have a safe haven which is strictly for them and that is my bedroom. I have a gate across my door so that they can jump over and remain unmolested from Spike or any visiting dog friend allowing them a quiet space to sleep during the day. It’s bright and airy and has high places for them to laze around. During the evenings needless to say, they are my sleeping companions. Spike has his bed setup just outside the gate and that works for him as a protector he has views of our bedrooms and is very close to watch over all of us.
Last but now least is my nieces little pug Audrey. Who is truly full of beans. I have become her mom away dog sitter and I enjoy every minute of it. Spike and she, are best pals and she slides right into the hierarchy of the home with no problem. I moved her bed outside the gate as well, so that she could be close. Audrey is full of energy and gets Spike and her running around the house chasing each other in circles. It’s hilarious.
These furry little angels are so special and I truly believe that in their little hearts and souls angels reside to help make my days a little happier and a little less stressful and that the energy they pass on to me with a stroke of their fur, a cuddle and lick is positive energy infused with love and healing powers.
