2013 started out with good planning for my daughter’s University, comfortable in my job and secure financially, no committed man in my life but hey who needs one right I had a comfortable part time relationship with a good reliable friend.  We hung out together when it was convenient for us both without any strings.  So it was all good until March.

First, my daughter’s step dad decided that his child support was going to cease in April once she turned 18 and he was NOT going to contribute any funds towards her university even though he has been the only father this child has known and our agreement stated that he would support her as long as she was in school.  He was not even man enough to tell this to my face.  I had to email him several times to get him to finally tell me his plans, which gave me no time to plan for the shortfall.

I have drawn up the papers for court and have been assured that if I were to purse I would win the support for my daughter, but at the same time that I was chasing to get answers from him I was advised that my lung cancer had returned and this time because both lungs were affected surgery was not an option as it had been in 2011.  In other words I was terminal.  The cells were too small to biopsy so a wait and see approach was taken.   I was also to be laid off my job due to a down size.  So, I needed to focus my energy into survival mode.

By end June financially I lost three quarters of my net income per month with my credit cards maxed to get my daughter to university, pay for my car loan, insurance, credit card debt and by September food and housing.  Then at September found out I had a stage 4 cell in my neck which was why I could not stand for any length of time causing horrific pain.  Immediate radiation was required. At which point finding work was impossible.  So, my Employment Insurance status had to change from being able to work which I would have maintained until April, 2014 to only 15 weeks on sick benefits, which means at end December, 2013, I had no guaranteed income.

So, where do I go next because the reality after working for nearly 35 years is that I could be in a month without any income and potentially homeless.  There is something wrong with this picture.   I was forced out of a job in the 1990’s by corporate layoffs and restructure and unable to secure permanent employment because of age and the change in the way corporations hired, only contract positions were available.  Leaving me and many other early boomers open to future financial insecurity, no corporate RSP’s contributions or health benefits and such salary reductions making it difficult to take out personal contributions or benefit plans. As a boomer, I and many others were literally living from pay cheque to pay cheque to survive.  So to meet with a serious health crisis and unable to work you have no recourse but turn to the government and social programs for help.

Well let me tell you the difficulties with that.  First there are the applications both federally and provincially.  When you are ill it is very hard to get out and have the energy to pick up and complete these multi-page forms.  In the case of the Canada Pension Disability Plan the wait could be up to four months.  The Ontario Disability Support Plan will not even allow an application until unemployment insurance is exhausted and by then you could potentially have zero income waiting a decision and all this to receive less than $1,065 a month.  How people are supposed to live on that is beyond me.  I can’t even add Old Age Pension because I’m not 65.  Not a fitting end after 35 years of working.  So people will say but you should have paid into a pension plan and put money aside.  I say to them try doing that as a single parent and keep in mind that the cost of separation takes its toll and unless you jump into another relationship you never fully recover.  Fortunately, my daughter is building her life at university and becoming independent, so a little less stress for me.  Although, as a mother the debt she is incurring without any financial help to purse her studies is worrisome.

So for me my reality is that I’m a new empty nester about to potentially lose my car, my life insurance and I need to look for cheaper housing.  This situation not of my own making now makes me one of the country’s poor.  A first for me but somehow I will survive this set back as I have survived so many other adversities in the past.

First I have to kick some cancer butt and fight to live.